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i went out with ian on friday. :) watched Seven Pounds.
omg shizznit it's such a freaking good show okay?
everyone should freaking watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=P i cried buckets. haha.
i realized that in all my favorite movies, i cry. o.O
hmmm.
lol.
i had a fun time crapping with ian.
then again i always do (:
thanks for always having my back ! -:)
FATAL forever kays.
this is for jared too if you're readin this =D
*hugs to you BOTH.

Labels: appreciation, seven pounds

due to the questions to who the 'you' is in my previous posts,
just to clarify.
it has nothing to do with tim.
if you wanna know who it is, ask me yourself lah!
the answer will probably surprise you.
(:

Nobody

There you are,
In a darkened room,
And you're all alone,
Looking out the window,
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love,
Like a broken arrow,

Here I stand in the shadows,
Come to me,
Come to me,
Can't you see?

- Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera, Nobody Wants To Be Lonely
_

Until you open your eyes and realize who's been there all along,
I'll be standing right here, singing this same old song.
You'll never know what it's like to be me.
But someday I hope you'll see.

Labels: poetry, song lyrics

don't forget to remember
that I love you
so beautifully flawed,
it's perfection.

Labels: poetry

i don't know why i bother being such a good friend when you don't even give a fuck about me.
i guess now i know.
who's been the real friend all along.
all it takes is just one call.
one text to make it all okay.
but apparently you're too proud for that.
you KNOW i'm right.
god, this hurts so bad.
knowing that you're too damn stubborn about this.
i had to find out this way,
you just wrote me off.
but you don't even care.
and i do, so much,
in spite of myself.
Why do I even bother??

Labels: angst, sadness, stupid

this hurts.
this hurts so goddamnmotherfucking much
and i want you to know how it feels
to feel like you're bleeding on the inside,
you never even had the guts to say you're sorry.
you're tired?
well, I'm tired too.
a different kind of tired.
tired of all this.

i want to say more to you.
on text.
but really, i don't know what to say.
guilting you out doesn't work.
you just don't have a conscience when it comes to me.
i'm just sarah after all.
just nobody at all to you.
or at least it seems like it alot of the time.
perhaps that is what hurts the most.
perhaps if i start acting like ___________
you might like it more?
perhaps if i treated you a little meaner, you might like it more?
ha. fat chance.
the saddest part is you'll never ever realise how much i care for you.
you'll never know or understand how i feel until you've been in my shoes.
don't call me a hypocrite when you're one too.
open your eyes, honey.
don't point out the speck in my eye when the piece of wood is freaking in your face!
i wish, oh how i wish you would know what this feels like.
crying at night feels so worthless
i'm never going to be good enough for you, aren't i?
and you always seem to let me down.
disappoint me.
i always hope for better in you.
you're sorry, oh, you'll change.
and every single time, i believe you.
i don't know who's the bigger fool.
you or I.

Labels: angst, disillusioned, hurt, sadness

my day was sucky
seriously
fought with mom over usual shit
i hate her sometimes seriously
she's sofuckingannoying
pleasepissoffandgoaway!
-_______________-'
and fought with tim after that also
it's not like i ask so much of him omg
but still i'm wrong :/
aiyo whatever lah, don't care anymore.

ugh.
v day was fuckin depressing
all those couples in an overcrowded mall !
seriously claustrophobic
it was cute but somewhat sucky cos i didn't have anyone
no presents, no valentine, nothing.
nobody at all asked me out or to be their valentine
i'm sorry to be such a moaning minnie but seriously lah!
is it THAT fucking hard to find a decent guy
its not like im asking for the friggin world
i just want someone nice/smart/kind/funny/loyal/fairly attractive :S anyone got any recommendations??
i went out with tim.. we walked around
then watched a movie till my parents picked me up
super loserish lor i
speaking of loserish
i need to let go wei seriously
this is so stupid
so dumb
and now that __________________'s in the picture
more complicated shit
going on
and i just can't deal right now
not now.
i hate feeling this way.



I JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH
fucking stupid pathetic good for nothing

sorry, wallowing session.
sigh.
it's over now.


VALENTINE's day is COMING !!!!
hahahahah
teddy bears, flowers and chocolate !
to quote Scrooge : bah humbug
i would love valentine's day except i'm single so that kinda sucks hahahaha
oh well who needs guys :D
:)
time to APPRECIATE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS yo.
i have a decision to make:
to go to Genting on Valentine's Day with ex form fivers
OR
to go out with friends on Valentine's Day (i was thinking anti valentine's day theme : ie, dressed in black and booing couples but that would be too mean :( )
i want him to be my valentine but I'm betting you he'll say no.
HAHAHAHA
:(
story of my life,
anyway i had this weird convo with mark today
mark: i like you
me: oh.. yeah
mark: no i mean... i like you?
me: huh?? oh... okay cool
mark: I LIKE YOU.
me *still blur* : oh.. i like you too. *gives friendly smile
lol wtf wtf WTF ?!
maybe its all due to that damned fortune cookie my dad gave me.
someone hidden from you who is interested in you is directly in front of you.
o.O
now is that mysterious or IS that mysterious.
lol
things have been so twilight zone lately :O
I bought a new polka dot dress!!!
and i want red high waisted shortz!
and i miss camwhoring with shammie and ranting to her about stuff
damn i really need to talk to her. :/
i am such a fucking procrastinator
shoot me now pls.


i can't say i HATE being single
but I PREFER being in a relationship
or maybe i just miss ________
or maybe i just miss having a boyfriend
or maybe its all of the above!!!
LOL

im like eating and sleeping
so pig like
i love nando's like omg i could eat it all day
except its freaking expensive
and
talked to _____, no idea what's going on atm
i'm not evil that way, was insulted when 92392132013013 at school thought so.
pfsht go away!
HAHAH
:P
he's been like so mean to me . but whatever .
my skin is breaking out, stress omg
i want a facial
and a mani/pedi
who wants to come with me???
i miss awesome and pretzel pig !
:(



i went to penang for CNY week.
came back.
ate like a pig, slept like a pig.
:)
i went to cameron over the weekend
ate like a pig, slept like a pig.
watched Midsomer Murders.
stupid damn show.
I like CSI better.
so many shows i need to catch up on.
Lipstick Jungle, One Tree Hill, 90210 [2008].
and those cool Hallmark shows i always wanted to watch
but never got around to.
and movies.
i'm in the mood for em
chick flicks, funny cartoons, maybe some thrillers in the mix.
i like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody.
and i miss cartoons.
and i miss feeling happy happy happy.
hahaha.
it'll pass, it always does (:
i bought a polka dot dress today. with BIG polka dots. it's a little big on me, but with a chain metal belt. voila!
i dont look like a oversized cow anymore. *laughs
i love those thick black belts but they always make my boobs look huge.
which sucks, cos they're huge enough without any belts to make em look GINORMOUS.
*insert sarcastic/sad laugh here*
i miss my brother!
i want him to bug me to stop singing, to stop being stupid
:P
haha
i miss awesome.
i want to go shopping.
but i have to admit i have so many clothes already,
haha something she and I have in common,
a saying 'you can never have too many clothes'!
;) and i'm going for rihanna's concert except it freaking got postponed
supposedly cos Chris Brown abused her.
click the link here.
WTH?
but he's so cute, and talented too :(
just goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover.
but seriously lah.
so stupid.
:(
i hope it doesn't get canceled.
cos if not it's that RM 158 down the drain.
-__-
and i got tickets for Sunburst.
dear God, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
let Coldplay come down here
because I LOVE COLDPLAY THEY ROCK FOREVER AND THEYRE
FREAKING
SUPER DUPER
COOL
AND THE BEST BAND AROUND
amen.
lol.
:D
i hung out with Wing Hang on Saturday . had lunch at Italiannies.
god, i'm so broke. lol.
then she left and i waited for 2 hrs then awesome showed up
pfsht finally lol.
i was kinda annoyed but oh well it was alright in the end.
:P
always is.
my eyes hurt now
and i need to study more, sleep earlier
so much to do, so little time
but what else is new.

as for when i found out
what you said
i was hurt
and
i cried, (but sshh. only you know that)
then i stopped
and i didn't know what to do.
except be awkward,
perhaps put a little distance between us
because i suck
so much at
saying what i really mean
and confronting people in general.
and now
i am an ostrich in the sand
go look up what they do when they're scared
or at leas that's what they did in
the cartoons on Cartoon Network,
which I always watched when I was a kid.
couldn't you have gone about it another way?
it hurt a little more than i could say.
i don't think think
this should be done over the phone
it should be done
face to face.
but i don't know if you'd agree.
_
i want to write more
as usual
and post pictures
but my laptop's being a bitch.

Labels: poetry

i suck at confrontations.
like seriously, majorly.
that's the reason why i haven't called shammie.
i'm supposed to.
sorry, baby. i know you're reading this.
sigh.
i will call.
just not today. :/

drugs
mother
Sun
sadness
curiosity
the reason why
just no, fuck no.
tumblr
how to recognize I'm a psycho
fuck you. I'm fine alone.

i wrap my world in you
all you can think is yourself
this is a time i have to leave
i'm in this by my self
-ignite

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