trust is difficult.11:34 PM
Monday, January 4, 2010
i hate how this new year is starting. I should be with you. You should be with me. This is fucked up. I spent so much time with you in the holidays. You made me fall in love with you again. I hate it. I hate this feeling of losing control. And yet when you look at me in that way i forget that I hate it. You have so much power over me. You make me so happy. And at times you make me so angry I want to throw things at you. I want to be with you in spite of all the bad times. Gah. Fuck it. I'm destined to be alone. Now school is starting the whole cycle will begin again. I know it. I don't know how to fully trust in you again. I'm always afraid to lose you. Yet what do I have to lose? There isn't anything between us anyway. Sigh.
don't hurt me.
please. i'll try to trust you. if only you don't hurt me.
Labels: alone, angst, confusion, emo, sadness
